Please forward this to ONE friend today and tell them to subscribe here.There are a number of ways to start a conversation. But the most universally used opener in Canada is the weather.
Understandably, the weather can change quite a bit depending on where you are in Canada. It’s also perhaps the safest opener because everyone has an opinion about it plus it’s not a controversial topic. You’re unlikely to unintentionally upset somebody by commenting on the weather.
It works with strangers. While you’re waiting at a bus stop, in an elevator, talking with your neighbours, talking with your colleagues.
All you need to say to get going is, “Hey, great weather we’re having,” or “Hey, it’s crazy weather we’re having.” Then the person can comment on it as well. “Oh yeah, I know. I wasn’t ready for snow in April,” for example.
Something to be careful about. Weather commentary is supposed to be light. Avoid using it to comment on climate change and how grim it is. Unless the other person decides to deepen it a bit, stick with it as a light opener.
The intention is to establish commonality rather than getting into a deep, serious topic that can potentially dampen the mood.
Location-based conversation openers
Beyond weather, another great way to open conversations is talking about the shared space that you’re in. This works in waiting rooms, classes, conferences, networking events, waiting in line.
Something like “Hey, is it always this busy here?” Or if you’re in line, maybe getting some food at an event, “Hey, have you tried the muffins?”
Be careful again about making any negative judgments, such as, “Oh, this place is terrible,” until you know how the other person feels. You can keep it more neutral. If it’s a really busy room, “Oh wow, hey, it’s really busy here.” But don’t say, “Oh, this is terrible, how busy it is.”
That negativity could dampen the mood. It might make the person hesitant to want to continue the conversation with you because you’re coming across as maybe a negative person.
Remember you’re using this as a warmup. You want to give a sense of friendliness and the shared commonality of the space.
Compliments that land vs. compliments that backfire
Next up on the list are compliments. While they can be a good way to start a conversion, you’ve to be very careful with compliments, especially with strangers.
This might be a tactic you want to use with someone you at least know to some degree, perhaps a colleague or something similar.
Safe compliments are often about an item of clothing, any accessories they might have, some kind of work-related effort that they had. “Hey, that was a great presentation you gave today,” for example.
But steer away from compliments about the person’s body, shape, their age, their weight, or anything that could be considered even remotely sexualized. That can be considered very personal and could be interpreted as a type of harassment because you’re giving unwanted compliments or statements about the person’s appearance or body.
Stick to things that are based on things that they choose. If they’ve bought an accessory of some kind, “Hey, I love your scarf.” Or “Oh, did you get a haircut? It looks great.
On language compliments
You may be aware of this yourself, depending on whether you’ve experienced it but don’t compliment someone on their language skills, particularly their English. “Oh wow, your English is so good.”
That can come across as sarcastic and as a microaggression. Chances are, depending on where you are from and what your accent is, you may have experienced that yourself. Just be careful not to accidentally do that to others. It’s probably best to avoid complimenting someone on their English ability.
Why neutral observations are safe territory
As we mentioned before with weather and location-based openers, those are neutral observations because they’re non-personal details. It’s an attempt to establish commonality without getting too personal.
Again, be careful of complaining in your opener or the first time that you open up. Keep it neutral or mildly amused. “Hey, it’s a really long line today,” as opposed to “Oh, this line is terrible. I can’t believe we have to wait this long.”
One is complaining about the situation. The other’s establishing commonality. “Hey, here we are, we’re in this together.”
How Canadian openings might differ from your home country
For the most part, especially early on in relationships and especially with strangers, we don’t really get into personal topics like family or deep opinions about topics. Early on, we start with light, impersonal topics like those neutral observations such as the weather or location-based situations.
Canadians generally tend to prefer indirect, low-key conversations without being too loud or intense. That could be read as pushy. Generally speaking, in places like Quebec, people might be a little more expressive, but they still expect that politeness.
If someone asks how you’re doing, “Oh, how are you doing today?” The expectation is a surface-level response.
Just keeping it light and impersonal is the way to go. If the relationship develops into something deeper, into friendship, you can get into deeper topics later. But it’s very rare for that to happen in the beginning. If you force that, you’re likely to turn people off.
Some questions to noodle on that help you practice all you’ve learned
Q1. How do I know if my “neutral observation” about a shared situation is actually coming across as complaint or negativity when I’m just trying to make conversation?
Q2. If someone asks “How are you?” and I’m genuinely having a difficult day, what’s the appropriate level of honesty without oversharing or seeming dishonest?
Q3. What are some weather-related opening lines that work beyond just “Nice weather” or “Crazy weather,” so I don’t sound repetitive?
Q4. How can I tell if someone wants to move beyond small talk openers to an actual conversation, or if they just want to exchange pleasantries and move on?
