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In this episode, I’m chatting with Rania Younes, who grew up as a third-culture kid in Kuwait, attended the American University in Cairo, and built a career in Dubai before ultimately settling in Canada.
When Rania’s family moved to Canada, she had to stay behind to complete her university studies. However, watching her parents struggle to settle into the country and find their footing meant that when it was time to return, she hesitated.
She came over anyway, years later, because watching her siblings integrate gave her hope that Canada could give her kids something she had never had…a place to call home.
Then she lost her baby brother in 2010.
And processing that loss made Rania realise that she had been mourning an imagined version of herself for the last ten years. A trajectory of a self she should have been. The social circles and friends she had to leave behind when she moved to Canada.
Rania and I chat about:
Why children of immigrants grieve belonging while the parents grieve status
How moving from a collectivist to an individualist culture creates friction
Why understanding matters more than acceptance
The difference between systemic acceptance and social acceptance
How civic engagement builds belonging faster than job hunting
Dozie’s Notes
A few things that stuck with me as I listened through this week’s conversation:
Canada invites you as a whole but accepts you in pieces. The immigration system evaluates you holistically, considering your education, family background, language proficiency, and work experience. Then the job market, social systems, and everyday interactions fragment you. Your accent gets questioned. Your credentials get discounted. You’re systemically welcomed but individually contested. This gap between the promise and the experience is where most integration struggles start.
Self-acceptance must come before social acceptance. Immigrants spend enormous energy chasing recognition from others, such as employers, neighbours, and institutions. Rania learned from Brené Brown that belonging starts internally. You only truly begin to belong when you belong to yourself. Looking outward for validation before doing the internal work keeps you stuck.
You can’t copy-paste someone else’s journey. Rania has spoken to thousands of newcomers who hear a success story and try to replicate it step by step. That doesn’t work. The universe uniquely responds to each person. You can learn from others’ mistakes and wins, but the timing, the place, and the person all change the outcome. Every immigrant story is unique, including yours.
The grass is greener where you water it. There’s no utopia waiting somewhere else. Racism, classism, and sexism exist everywhere in some form. They also existed back home if we’re being honest. Canada is a worthy concept, but humans will be humans. The question we all need to answer with everything going on around us is whether we’re going to do the work to water our own patch or keep craning our necks as we stare at our neighbours.
Official Links
✅ Connect with Rania Younes on LinkedIn
✅ Read Rania’s article on identity grief and migration
One Ask
If you found this story helpful, please consider sharing it with one immigrant you know.
